Wednesday, November 30, 2005

A goodbye letter to addiction

I could not believe how resistant I was to writing this letter. I stared at the computer trying to find something else to do. I realized part of me did not want to say goodbye. It is the part of me that I am trying to kill. I would be lying if I said this was easy. The truth is I am feeling a great deal of sadness, grief, loneliness and fear as I write this letter.We have been together for a long time, too long. I would also be lying if I told you I did not enjoy the time we spent together. If there was not a positive aspect to our relationship I would have left years ago.I am leaving because the negative aspects of our relationship far outweigh the positive. You were always there for me. Throughout the good times and the bad, Addiction you were my comfort, my peace, my joy, but it came with a price. You made me isolate from my family, from my God. You cost too much. You took my time, my money, my creativity and my peace of mind.To tell you the truth I found someone who treats me better. I found God and he is teaching me to connect with others. You see God is not as jealous as you. He encourages me to spend time with my family. He supports my career and my dreams.You wanted me all to yourself. You invaded every part of my life. I can’t function with you around me. I can’t see you anymore. Don’t call me! Don’t write me! Its true you supported me when my dad was not around. It’s true you became my best friend when I was a teenager. You filled the void when I could not find a girlfriend and when I was rejected me. You helped me transition into college and helped raised my self-esteem, but I don’t need you anymore I am strong enough to face my pain. I acknowledge my sorrow. I will work through my frustrations by leaning on God. I know you. You don’t like to take no for an answer and that just proves how selfish you are, but you will get the picture eventually. I’m finished. I don’t need the pain you have caused. I’m moving on.

With Tears,
(Shannon Munford is the CEO and founder of Daybreak Counseling Service)

The waters of anger and resentment are bitter refreshments. To drink of them only brings a greater thirst. Some of us choke on our own temperament. Some of us find relief, and some continue to grasp for air. You can be free of this vile elixir.


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